So What my Body Count is High? That Doesn’t Define Me.

My body count is high. 

High enough that many guys think twice when they hear it. 

“So you get with everyone..?” 

“Wow… that’s higher than mine.” 

Those are just some of the replies I get from guys, baffled at the fact that a woman has more experience than they do. 

“She belongs to the streets” is perhaps the newest and most confusing response of them all.

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When a guy asks “What’s your body count?” I always pause for a second. My mind races about how he will react, but at this point, I’ve likely heard every answer. As I have gotten older, I have come to understand what the question is truly asking. 

It is not asking for a number, but is making a quick judgment about whether a woman is a prude or a slut.

The anxiety I feel when I answer the question is the result of a society that has taught women they are more respected if they sleep with fewer men. When I truthfully answer, I become vulnerable to that judgment.

Personally, when I think about my own body count, I laugh. It doesn’t mean I get with everyone or make me less valuable as a woman. I simply see it as a documentation of my past experiences. 

To me, my “body count” has a much deeper connotation than the number of males I have had sex with. 

One of my “bodies” was not consensual. 

For my body count to reflect a sexual situation in which I had no say, proves that a woman’s body count does not accurately represent their past. When a guy makes negative assumptions about me based on my body count, it feels like they are seeing my sexual assault experience as a defining part of me. Even if they are unaware of the unfortunate way another “body” was added to my “count,” it prevents me from being able to escape my past.

It is more important that people are having sex with people they feel safe with and using protection, than the number of people they get with. 

In my experience, guys care more about my own body count than I do. I don’t know what goes through their head when I tell them mine, but I can guarantee it is not the same response they have when their guy friends tell them theirs. 

Guys are often celebrated for their high numbers, whereas girls are commonly put down for theirs. Whether it is too small or too big, there never seems to be an answer that would completely satisfy a man.

At this point, I am going to stop answering the question “What’s your body count?” 

I have been asked my body count far too many times. If someone actually cared about me, they would take the time to get to know my character, instead of making judgments based on a meaningless variable.

In the end, my body count is just a number. It is not a representation of who I am.

I am done with guys saying a woman is not “wife material” because of how high her body count is. I am wife material whether or not my body count is over 20.

Credit: Pinterest

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